I have a very busy week ahead of me! I had a meeting tonight, I have another meeting tomorrow night, I have a dr appt Tuesday, I have another appt in the city on Wednesday, Wednesday night scrapbooking, Janessa has her first gymnastics class on Thursday, Janessa has playschool on Friday, and I have my card workshop on Friday night. AND in the midst of all this, I have a household to run, meals to cook... AND all the prep work to do for my card workshop on Friday night!! Thank goodness that Grandma is watching Janessa few hours on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday AND Friday so that I will be able to get a bunch of this stuff done!
In the midst of my busyness, I went to Church today. It's been awhile. I'm just still not quite ready to deal with the 'how are you' and 'how are you feeling' questions. I went today mostly to appease my husband. I was doing not bad.. and then I just sunk. It was all I could do not to high tail it out of there and go home. It didn't help that Janessa was not sitting still (like she usually does) and the lady beside us thought it was funny that she was acting up. THEN, she asks me if Janessa can have a sucker. Um. NO. I'm not going to give her a reward for being bad! What's wrong with you woman!? Anyway, so yeah that didn't help at all. No sooner was the service over and I was all but cornered with questions and people wondering what was going on with me. So what did I do? I LIED THROUGH MY TEETH. Egad! I lied in Church! Not the first time. But seriously, some of the people who were trying to ask me how I was, are the last people I'm going to confide in. One of which being a gal who started rumors that I was pregnant over something she saw on facebook. Anyway. I left and came home and wondered why I went. I feel like if I do go, I will go straight out the the van and not talk to anyone afterwards. I don't know. I just need space and NO questions. (unless those of you who attend my church and read this blog are my friends :) and yes you know who you are).
Anyway, just was not an overly great morning today. And another thing, my counsellor is moving to another position. Just when we were starting to really get somewhere and she was really helping me, she's leaving. sigh. She is trying a different job, and if within 3 months she wants her old one back, she can have it. She said that I can be put to another person in her office, or wait it out, or find a new one altogether. So I guess what I'm going to be (and have to be doing) doing is thinking a lot. How much do I need to be seeing her still. Do I really need her... do I think I need her.. sigh. This is just a little too much to have to process in too short a time. But I'm going to try. When she leaves, I won't be just left to 'deal'. There will be someone else who can help me. But still. sigh.
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well, I thought it was good you came :)
ReplyDeleteNone of the kids were sitting still in church, just so ya know! LOL Mine were horrible
AND, if you aren't at church for a month or more, people are goign to come and ask how you are LOL
I know it can be frustrating, and I know that you don't want to talk to some people.....but try to be encouraged that some people do care. They really do.
Haha.. yes it was good that I went. Yeah there were kids that weren't doing so great, I just didn't appreciate that she thought it was funny.. in turn it made Janessa think it was funny.. and yeah, not cool. lol. I am encouraged that people do care, I just can see if it's genuine or if its false concern. I'm just not ready to answer truthfully because then they are left feeling awkward. Oy. Anyway. I know you genuinely care! :)
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