Home at last..

It has been an interestingly long, painful, stressful week. Was at my parent's place this past week so that Janessa could attend a VBS out there. Well last weekend two of Mom's kids got sick. By Monday my sis was sick too, and all week, there have been multiple trips to the hospital at all hours, there have been puking kids, fevering kids, CRYING kids, screaming kids, GRUMPY kids. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! Seriously! And to top it all off, the new kid Mom has cries. A lot. He cries when he's eating. He cries when he's playing. He cries when he's outside. He cries when he's inside. He. Cries. All. The. Time. OY. Even my lil sis couldn't take it anymore. I almost packed up in 5 seconds and left yesterday.. I had just had enough. All of this added blech-ness, didn't help when I was having my own issues. I tried to retreat. I tend to find solitude out at my parents place. They live in a river valley with creeks flowing throughout the farm, etc. Last night I just felt numb and sad.. and tired.. and I just needed to walk. So I walked to the creek. The longest walk of my life it seemed. I was able to crawl down and sit on a rock and put my feet in the (very cold) water. I just sat there and watched the water flow and listened to it bubbling. It somehow is therapeutic for me. I was there for over an hour and it only seemed like 5 minutes. I just love that spot. Sitting there last night, the water seemed to wash away the crying, screaming, cranky kids and the pissyness I felt towards them. I was supposed to be there until Monday, but I needed to go. I missed my husband a lot. Nobody can give me that same hug that melts all my worries away. Nobody can hold me just right to help me sleep when I can't stop crying. Nobody's "I love you" sounds as wonderful, although Janessa's is pretty darn close. Yep, there's just nobody quite like my husband. The 3 hour drive today felt particularly long. I just wanted Owen. I needed that special hug. I don't even care too much that there's dishes on the counter or that the house is messy, we're just home. There's time for that later. Right now I'm just happy to be back home. Yes, the tears come just the same. But at least I'm not crying in secret, and at least we can cry together.